These arguments can run hot and go far beyond which restaurant chain is better or where to eat on Friday night. These arguments go down to the very core of America and our fabulous food traditions. No matter what side of these arguments you take, you are no doubt passionate about it and will stand strong with your food convictions. As well you should! Put on a patriotic American hoodie, hold your head high, puff your chest out, and proclaim what is best in life!
Chicago vs. New York
The pizza debate will rage on after the sun burns out. It is very much a regional thing, and if you live out East, it’s NY, and if you live in the Midwest, it’s deep-dish. One thing that most people don’t realize is that for the residents of Chicago and the suburbs, pub-style is what Chicago-style pizza really is. Deep-dish is beloved, but no one is ordering that from the local joint every Friday night. Pub-style is similar to NY-style with more cheese and sauce, and it’s cut into squares.
Fruit on Pizza
Pizza has another debate to which there is only one acceptable side. Anyone who puts pineapple or any other kind of fruit on a pizza is a monster and worthy of your derision. If we allow pineapple on pizza, where do we draw the line? Where do we stop? Let’s start putting candy bars, Starbursts, bubble gum, and peanuts on pizza too! Go crazy, people. No, absolutely not. No rational person would want to eat those things on pizza.
Hot Dog Toppings
While this is America and we should be free to eat whatever we want, there must be some rules. The hot dog is the most American food as there could ever be, but only a Communist would want to put red ketchup on it. The only people allowed to put ketchup on a hot dog are condemned prisoners and children under the age of 10. Kids’ taste buds only want sweet things, but after they turn 10, the ketchup goes back on the plate for the fries.
India Pale Ales vs. Everything Else
A great deal of hope surrounded India Pale Ales (IPAs), and the hope was that it was just a fad. Soon enough, everyone prayed, it would go away, and IPAs would join Bud Dry and ice beers in the trash bin of history. But it was not to be; they’re still here and as popular as ever. They are awful, just full of hops and horrible. Every other kind of beer—including Michelob Ultra, which is only colored water—is better than that swill. They dominate the shelves in stores where hardworking beer like Steel Reserve and Lone Star should be.
What Belongs on a Steak?
Steak lovers like their meat a certain way and only that way. Some well done, some medium, and other bloody as hell. Whatever temperature you prefer, the only thing needed to season it is salt and pepper. If you spend the money to buy a good cut, let the meat speak for itself. If you want to slather it in disgusting steak sauce or marinades, then just have a ketchup and baloney sandwich and call it a day. A well-cooked, great cut of meat doesn’t need any help.
